(Mika is the BOOP!)

Born 2002 CURRENT AGE: 7

WELCOME MY CARD

Sean Boop

Starring

And

      Co-Starring Sean

and.....

Mika's mom, Amber

and............................Mika's Other Mom; Liana Banana

and.................................... Brother Michael

and                                                                     Daddy Z

Mika the Blonde

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

A Christmas card to all my FRIENDS!

Bye!

An Application For Permission To Date My Daughter...

NOTE:  This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a  

complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report  from your doctor.


NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF  BIRTH_____________


HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________  GPA_____________


SOCIAL  SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________


BOY  SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________


HOME  ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______


Do you  have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes  ___No
If No, explain:  _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________


Number  of years they have been married ______________________________


If less than your age,  explain
____________________________________________________________________


____________________________________________________________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:


A.   Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No


B.   A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No


C.   A waterbed? __Yes __No


D.   A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No


E.   A tattoo? __Yes __No


F.   Do  you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

 __Yes __No


(IF  YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE  

PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY  SECTION:


In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?


______________________________________________________________


______________________________________________________________


In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?


______________________________________________________________


______________________________________________________________


In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?


______________________________________________________________


______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:


Church you attend ___________________________________________________


How often you attend ________________________________________________


When would be the best time to interview your:


father? _____________


mother? _____________


pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:


Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.


A: If  I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:


______________________________________________________________


B: If  I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:


______________________________________________________________


C: A woman's place is in the:


______________________________________________________________


D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:


______________________________________________________________


E.  What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________


______________________________________________________________


______________________________________________________________


F.  When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:


______________________________________________________________


I  SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF  MY

KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT  TORTURE,

CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, AND RED HOT POKERS.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's  Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________  ________________________________
Mother's Signature                                  Father's  Signature


_______________________________  ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi                                 State Representative/Congressman


Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. 

Please allow four to six years for processing.


You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write

(since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected,

you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

RICHARD ZEPHRO FATHER;   SEAN ZEPHRO BROTHER